10 years back, I was clueless when I was questioned by a HR, “Where do you like to be five years down the line?” My response was, Manger HR, and he said that’s just a position, anything else you wish to?
I didn’t respond and he asked me to learn NLP or attend NLP workshops.I went blank and he suggested me to do a soul searching, to me it’s like going on a road in the midnight, hunting for the devils. Well that sounded better than searching one within. Because, I grew up listening to “don’t fight unnecessarily,” and to me it’s an easy way out. Moving away from the situation than facing one, is easier. I was ready to fight, but scared to fail and this thought “What others will say/think”
Whenever some one wanted to share something, my answer was to either react or not listening to what they have got to say, and I applied the same principle with my mind, which was constantly questioning me.
I was bombarded with questions like
– what I want to do- what am I doing currently
– am I happy with my job
– why I don’t question my Manager
– why I don’t fight for what I want
– why am I scared of what others will think
– though I like to talk, why I hold myself from moving ahead
– why some people are so happy
– why I go silent when I don’t fight
It’s in one of these Silent moments, it dawned on me to research on NLP in the Google, I subscribed few pages only to unsubscribe later. One more reason, was the cost tagged to the workshops which was very high. The going was the same, and NLP was outside my interest.
And the universe had its plan, so one day in 2012 I received a call from an institute offering NLP workshops, it fascinated me to consider, because it’s not only the trained people but the front office executives are also trained to speak NLP language, but the spoiler was taking a leave for 6 straight days and the cost, hence I passed the contact to a friend of mine.
The language and the choice of words, left an impact which I didn’t want to miss, I started my search again. This time I bumped into a person with a wide smile in orange kurtha, something I felt welcoming, well it was the virtual connect with loads of opportunity is what I felt when I was staring at the Onefluencer homepage.
I dialed the number,
a Hello! from the other end, I paused for a while and confirmed if it was Ramesh Prasad, a yes and then the conversations are still going .
Attended the first workshop in 2013 in Bangalore and met Ramesh and Tulsi, and then the two days workshop connect. Post the workshop, I still didn’t have a clue about what I wish to do, but there was this thought about addressing the questions in my mind.
In 2015, yet another connect in Chennai,@ Village retreat for the Business Practitioner workshop. It’s at this place I got to meet a bunch of people, with whom am connected still and would continue to.
I still didn’t have my answers. A learning that I carried :
1) few things can be left wherever it is. Not every question has an answer immediately.
2) Living in the moment is a happiness
3) As I lived in the current moment, I started appreciating things around me
4) As I started listening to people, I was able to silence my mind for a while
5) Accepted the uniqueness in the others and embraced myself for what I am
6) Identified the resources within.
The journey continued, nothing or no one around me changed, I did feel challenged.It was hard, and I accepted without a choice people around me and stopped pleasing others.
Amidst all these, one hope that dawned within me and laid a milestones of foundation was “Writing.” I started venting my feelings in my blog page and took a challenge to blog #100days straight come may what.
And I did this even when my father was on his death bed. NLP, the tools in NLP of being in the Now, Identifying the resources within me to deal with self and then others (if required), working on the right choice of words for communicating helped me in completing the 100days blogging. Every experience I captured I blogged was my reflections and they were traveling deep within.
But I still felt I am missing something, hence attended the Master Practitioner program with Sue Knight and Ramesh in Cherai, KeralaI was still blank, I went for the certification, to add it to my profile.
The place, interaction with Sue gave me a perspective that it’s experience which counts. When questioned about my outcome by Ramesh, I traveled back to my mother’s womb not wanting to come out. Because I still didn’t know why I am pursuing NLP way. Tears rolled down, taking few moments away from me. I cried, because I didn’t know still, what I want to do, should I have an outcome necessarily, what is outcome and why should I?
I only knew am behind something, which I like doing. But what it is, was a question mark. Felt demotivated, when others were clear and had an outcome, I smiled only to cry again, because I felt worthlessness hugging me. I allowed this to flow.
At home I failed applying NLP, to me it was a challenge building like a mountain and I have let it grow. The relationship was at a stake with this question, how am good and nice to the external world and why I loose myself at home. Felt running away from all and felt I was at the edge, I travelled back, without taking any decisions.
The going didn’t change, I found my solace in writing and video blogging. My friends already submitted their project for the Master Practitioner certification, but I didn’t and didn’t want to. The cluelessness was continuing the game, my priority was and is still in upbringing my daughter well, hence I started reading a lot in the children genre and my interest started taking shape. Well it was shapeless, as I didn’t know how to bring it in the practicality.
I fell flat in front of my friends in May 2018 Trainers workshop. When I fell, this time I fought with my Mentor Ramesh, I didn’t want to talk but what made me “not to go silent,” like all the other time was, that I was scared to receive feedback. This time I questioned him, which I never did. The questioning was direct and from my heart, it was like a thunder waiting to hit and am ready to get hit, an eye opener that, I can fight and I fought.
This fight didn’t let me sleep, I started penning my thoughts, I fought with my words and also with the people, I started choosing my battle and the battleground. As I gathered my words, I went ahead in publishing the same into book and my first book Mayaakatha happened.
Realised that story way I connect and it’s this way I feel good connecting, and started training teachers through a publishing house through story telling, opened my channel on story telling and 1 minute videos on my experience and learning, and co-authored 5 books. Nothing though has changed, but I changed in a way that I accepted people and situation the way they are, earlier it was a “No other choice,” but now I create my choices, I fight with my choices and with my own self.
This fight has given me a dimension:
1) the confidence to face myself with the others.
2) I still compare, and it’s about what is that I can learn from the others
3) Outcome can be multiple, it’s about working continuously and in chunking the process
4) Whatsoever be the situation , remember to hold the current momen
5) second positioning of situation/people has helped me in understanding people their way.
6) keep sharing my experiences in my page, today this has been a learning manual for myself and others to refer upon
7) continue writing and story telling .
8) Working on the next outcome: Trainer/Mentor/Coach
The Dinosaur in me never sleeps and am working on my next project with my friend.
NLP has and will continue in my life, until am six feet under the ground. NLP doesn’t change a person it helps in identifying “the self cocooned within” to fly…But for Ramesh Prasad and Tulsi, I would have been a struggling employee.