Conversations between two ladies
How is Pawan?
He is fine Sheenaji.
Now that he is settled and earning good money, why don’t you get him married?
Hmm, I have been thinking about this. He needs to settle personally too.
Yes, Sheenaji. Please get him settled soon, atleast he will have someone to look after him, the house and take care of his needs….
And I walked away, as I couldn’t withstand this conversation.
It is like this, if the son has started earning, get him married and if the daughter knows to cook and clean the house, get her married.
It irks me. I don’t know if I can change these mind set, but at least I can vent out my thoughts here through my writing.
Like me, may be even you may have come across many women/men with such a mentality. For ages, they have been living with this mindset. I feel like sitting in their mind and shaking that brain to create some space to accept equality.
Personally I have come across few educated family, where a mother washes her grown up son’s plate and expects their daughter in-law to do the same. The daughter in law may or may not, it’s her choice. Believe me she would love to help her husband, provided he has the similar mentality of sharing the work. The house chores are not only meant for women alone.
It’s an irony that women fail understanding women and they try to thrust few age old unacceptable blind customs in the name of family culture/legacy to the their daughter in law. This is a classic example of preconditioning of labeling a women as a care taker of the grown-up son in the form of mother or wife, which is like a blind date.
Getting married or whenever a person wishes to, is an individual’s choice in his/her life. It’s not only about sharing love in the bed, it’s all about creating a happiness called home.
Personally, I wish to change many, but until or unless a person wants to accept, I cannot.
It’s like this,
Get the son married, not because he is earning, but let him be someone who can share responsibilities at home and knows and also remembers to wash his plate and clothes.